Mawwiage, that bwessed awangement, that dweam wifin a dweam. And wuv, tru wuv, will fowwow you foweva. So tweasure your wuv.
I originally posted this in February of 2015 in light of the SCOTUS ruling last week
Aside from my identity, the issue of marriage was the hardest issue for me to reconcile with my faith. After all, I was a woman who had loved other women and had been in two serious long-term relationships. For years I had devoted my time, energy and resources to Marriage Equality and saw no ethical reason for same-sex couples to be denied all the rights, responsibilities and benefits of marriage. After all, who would deny committed partners the right to make medical decisions? Who would deny them the right to make funeral arrangements for their beloved? On Friday June 26, 2015 the United States Supreme Court Ruled to legalize same-sex marriage. Marriage is deeply personal to me and I have discovered it is deeply personal to God as well. As I’ve stated before, what one believes about marriage influences what one thinks about sexuality, identity and gender roles. My study in the first three chapters of Genesis challenged my personal and political views surrounding marriage. There was no denying that God had clearly defined the marriage relationship as between one man and one woman in Genesis 2:18-25.
To even begin to make a shift towards a Biblical view, I had to look at God’s motivation for marriage. Was it simply a matter of reproduction or was it something deeper? The primary thing this journey has taught me is that God always has our highest good in mind. His heart is not to deny us joy and happiness. He is also intentional in all that He does and designs. So God’s intention for marriage as between one man and woman had to do with the healthiest way for men and women to be relational with each other. Marriage is a real life representation of the intimate, not sexual relationship God desires between each person and Himself. It goes back to Eden where for a period of time a perfect man and a perfect woman lived in a perfect world and walked in perfect relationship with each other and their creator.
Adam and Eve, for all their faults, modeled what marriage was supposed to be like, and prior to the fall they did. A relationship in which each person is viewed as equally valuable and walks beside the other to complement them throughout life. God commissioned Adam and Eve to steward the earth together, to be fruitful and multiply. I think God’s original intention for humanity was for perfect and holy men and women to steward the earth in a perfect marriage relationship with each other and with Him. Notes on the subject from the online Blue Letter Bible say this:
As originally conceived, this blessing/command envisioned a sinless creature who, once confirmed in righteousness (through mirroring God via His Creation-covenant of works), would populate the earth with a holy people, a city of righteousness that would hold faultless dominion over the world.
Sadly this is not the case, as the first man and woman willfully defied their creator and partook of the one thing forbidden to them. As a result humans have lived in brokenness and relational strife ever since. I believe that co-habitation, divorce, and yes, same sex marriage, gay identity, the gender binary etc. etc. are failed attempts by broken people to live independently of God in a fallen world. Humanity has inherited the defiant attitude towards God where we dig our heels in the ground and put our hands on our hips and say, We know better, God! This had been my attitude towards God when it came to my identity and my right to marry who I wanted. I was defiant and believed God was denying me happiness. I have since learned God wants only my best in this life and that He designed us the way He did, including marriage, so that all would go well for us.
Does that mean I am actively seeking a relationship with a man? No, I am not. I have come to a place where I can trust God with my relational future, I believe He will not force me into a relationship I do not want. If He has marriage with a man in mind for me then He will change my heart and give me all that is needed to fully engage in a happy, healthy marriage relationship. For now I am very content as a single woman.
Here is my Value Statement for marriage:
Marriage is defined by God as between one man and one woman. I will honor the Biblical definition of marriage as God designed it because it is what is most beneficial to men and women, families, and society as a whole.
To my gay-identified friends who are married, I am certain this makes your blood boil and I understand. I want you to know I still value you and your partner and want only God’s best for your life.
Thanks for following my journey, please feel free to leave a comment.